11/29/2006
Works for me Wednesday - Good Manners
My Works for me Wednesday this week, covers Good Manners.
When Munchkin answers a question, I want her to say "Yes, Mamma" rather than just "Yes." We also insist on "Please" and "Thank You". The latter is very common here, the former? Not so much. My MIL asked me why I do that. Well, it was something that was hammered on when I was a child. For me, it's good manners. We don't ask her to call us "Sir" or "Ma'am", but neither did we play marbles together in the playground and she should be aware of the difference. When she doesn't hear us properly, she says "Pardon?" rather than "What?".
Lately, I find that there is a severe lack of manners in children and parents alike. And I think it's a shame.
When I was a kid, if I would walk in to the sitting room, and there would be an adult sitting there, I had to go over, shake the person's hand and introduce myself. (This could take quite some time, say at a birthday....)
If we went out for a meal somewhere, it was normal to be polite to the waiter/waitress. "I'd like a *insert yummy dish here*, please."
There is a certain formality in the Netherlands. This can seem a bit cold but at the same time, it's also a safety net. A comfort blanket. If you know the rules, you will be able to handle yourself in company. You will be able to carry yourself well and with confidence.
I never received etiquette lesson's as such, but I am very happy that my parents gave me these basic skills.
There are lots of tools to help you. Even Barney teaches manners and you can get books on the subject.
But, the best way to teach manners, I think, is to have good manners yourself. There is a difference between what's considered good manners in Ireland and what's considered good manners in The Netherlands, but we are finding the golden middle-ground.
When Paddy and I have good manners in our every day life, it will be normal for Munchkin too. And I think that's what's key. To make it so normal, that it's an automatic thing for her. We say "Please" and "Thank you" to each other, including Munchkin. Treat each other with respect.
She will not be having a cotillion or a debutante ball anytime soon, but she will have the basics. It's one of our gifts to her.
Teaching good manners, by having good manners - Works for Me!
00:10 Posted in Works for me Wednesday | Permalink | Comments (9) | Email this
Comments
Oh definitely a great post! Manners are absolutely something we should be modeling for our children. And expecting them to learn.
Posted by: Pastormac's Ann | 11/29/2006
So very important! I wholeheartedly agree!!
Posted by: Lady Why | 11/29/2006
We teach manners. Everyone comments on how polite our children are, and seem slightly bewildered (why weren't their children born polite?) Manners are something you have to teach daily.
I remember posting apology guidelines on the wall above the kitchen table as part of our lessons (complete with pictures, for the pre-readers.)
It went:
Look the person in the eye.
Say I'm sorry.
Name the offense.
Ask for forgiveness.
(I'm sorry I poked you in the eye. Will you please forgive me?)
A visiting friend took it to make a copy to post at her house - and she had teenagers!
Posted by: Milehimama | 11/29/2006
This is a great idea!
Posted by: txmommy | 11/29/2006
Great tip! I agree with everything you said and think manners are one of the most important things to teach children.
Congrats on the pregnancy too! =)
Posted by: Larae | 11/29/2006
I couldn't agree with you more!
So far, Snuggle Bug is pretty good with saying please and thank you. Of course, prompting is still necessary every now and then. I'm trying to teach him to say, "excuse me" when he burbs out loud and that's taking a bit of effort. He does say, "I sorry, you otay?" if he thinks he's done something to hurt you.
I didn't realize how often I use the slang word "yeah" until I started hearing Snuggle Bug saying "yeah" more than "yes." I don't like how that sounds so now I'm trying to clean up my bad habit and his!
I may have to check out that book you showed.
Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Overwhelmed! | 11/29/2006
Great WWFW! I agree...manners are so important and here in the states they are becoming a lost art!
Our homeschool group had a monthly manners class one of the moms helped faciliate last year...it was a good reinforcement of what most of us were trying to teach at home.
Posted by: Tammy | 11/29/2006
AMEN!! I have taught both rich and poor students and there are big gaps here in the States!
Posted by: Jenn | 11/29/2006
Good WFMW! Manners are so important.
Posted by: Jaime | 11/30/2006
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